Fifty Shades of Boredom

Yes that is was me. 

Once upon a time, the universe was filled with wonder. Then came humans who managed to invent Boredom. One and a half years of CB, CCB, HA, HAHA has taught me that I am but a human being. 

Tick Tick Tick Tick, the hands of the clock goes round and round... It is end of September. 

Social Gathering

When your idea of meeting up with friends materialized as Soon Kueh masterclass with Mimi or Mooncake Making Session with MIL, you know you are clearly in the realm of auntiehood.

When time becomes a long and mundane stretch, they throw in a festival. A perfect excuse and chance to break the monotony and bake your own mooncake. Hours go by amidst the happy chatter and they actually look and taste good! We need more festivals. 

Once in a blue moon, and this woman does not follow any routine, mimi makes soon kueh. Best in Singapore and some say JB, nobody can argue this fact. When she suddenly says ok, let's do this two weeks later, the masses dutifully apply for leave and at 9am sharp, arrive at my house. 

My mum. Her life is even more eventful than mine. When I want to meet her, I gatecrash her social gatherings, if not I cannot get a slot in. That busy woman. 

Sourdough

Take the leap. Despite being a miserable baker, I plunge into baking sourdough from scratch (starter from Lily). Life is really not that complicated. Magic happens when you mix flour and water together. 

This strange starter thing. Feed water and flour and it will raise to three times the volume in two hours. Watching it is exactly the same feeling as watching paint dry. My life is interesting again. 

I finally know why this is called an artisan bread. There is no hard and fast rules and you have to know your starter, dough and oven intimately. I love it, taste great even when I forget to add salt 50% of the time! It helps a lot that Ken and my FIL savor it so something to do on the weekends. Not chasing the big bubbles but the aesthetic whore in me cannot let go of how ugly my bread looks.  Time to invest in a brand new oven, bread stone, banneton, razor blade… and many many more wholegrain flour, cheese, jam, nuts, seeds etc…

Food for the Soul

I try, I really do. Ken reads when he cannot sleep. Five pages in and he is in slumber land. I read for pleasure. This stack has been beside my bed for months. One chapter in and I rotate to another book... I now know why Megan sighs and say she has nothing to do when she has 16 untouched library books on her shelves. 

Opium is not addictive enough. Bourdain's humor has waned on me. The book on myself is too thick. I am, I admit, I am distracted... by...

Him

Isn’t this the most mesmerizing face in the history of mankind… I binge watch Flower of Evil twice, late into the nights. 

Yes, my figure is pear shaped, my patchy face dehydrated and eyes swollen from crying too much watching his shows. But who cares since I am not going into office. This is the few benefits of HAHA. 

Still, I drag myself out of bed daily, walk that extra mile to hit 10,000 steps, plank the extra 10 seconds just because I cannot, simply cannot present this drum of a rotund body, flabby arms and bouncy thighs to him. Imagine we pass each other by on the streets one day. We may just become fast friends when our eyes meet. 

This scene is so vivid in my mind. Except that the visuals of him and me (urghh)… so wrong. Step up on the exercise YY. Chance favors the prepared mind, face and body. 

M&M??? Oh, they are well and alive. 

My Queen of Lego does it again. This girl is excellent in visualizing 3D forms. This time on the theme of Tokyo Olympics 2020.

Tokyo Olympics is actually more interesting than what I thought...

 In the spectator stand, social distancing happens to mark the iconic golden age of Covid. 

Pole Vault is the most breath taking event we watched. OMG this young talented Armand Duplantis makes vertical accent looks like a piece of cake! 

The absolute best commentary of 2020 Tokyo Olympics must be for the men's hurdles. This crazy year of record breaking... 

Diving

Table Tennis

In hindsight, maybe the Olympics is the best thing that happens. We absolutely need it. To see the strength, spirit and hope in these athletics giving their very best. Of course, juxtaposed with the ugliness of politics and media portrayal of the event.. We live in an ugly ugly era.

Oh yah, this project needs special mention. 

Mr Morg keeps asking me for rose and mint to make perfume (!!??). Not spending money on flowers when one can pick lots of fallen ones in Bishan Park.

This is a perfect example of ill-conceived projects when the heart is not in it. Morgan says we need alcohol to soak the flowers, I recall Patrick Suskind infusing the scent with oil. Anyway, not a lot of choices here since olive oil is the only thing I have, so we wash, peel, soak and wait. So exciting right?

Lesson number one: Plan

Lesson number two: Pick flowers that have a scent in the first place. Now I cannot tell if the perfume project is successful or not because after a week, I whiff and whiff and can only smell nature…. and olive oil.

No perfume, but we live happily ever after... (in fifty shades of boredom)

The End.

July Heighten Alert Heighten Alert (HAHA)

We are back to Phase 2 Heighten Alert! HA is now officially HAHA. This round is exceptionally hard on everyone, mentally…

Friend just sent me a link that Minister will make some updates tomorrow, calling for citizens to “continue to stay united, look to the road ahead, and overcome this as one people”.

Typical Singaporean reading : he is asking for unity, means no good news liao. HAHA is going to be HAHAHA soon.

Vaccine.

Ken and me are done with our second dose.

One thing about the male species: being sick means they need lots of tender loving care to nurse them back to health. I am prepared to sayang sayang… But Ken is perfectly fine after the jab! Impressive.

Me, on the other hand…. A disaster. I am freezing then perspiring as if I have constipation and trapped in a stuffy toilet until something comes out from the other end. Which is not far from the truth. Aches, giddiness, gastric, reflux, nausea, arm pain, chest pain, head pain, back pain, finger pain. Imprisoned and drowning in my fatigue body, even a single movement cause my eyeballs to hurt. Ah yes, eye pain as well. Deardear, please draw the curtains… the lights hurt.

Ken seizes the moment like a knight in shining armor with over the top loving concern. I look at him from the bed and just want to go HAHAHAHAHA! So weird to be spoiled like a baby. So sickeningly sweet. I can so get used to this.  

Love.

Matt and Feli are finally married. Congrats! The fluctuating Covid gathering regulations have seen them postponing the big event again and again. Luckily, the small window opens and here we are, attending a small and sweet ceremony.

Family. Pet.

“Shall we buy a fish tank?”

Oh no no no. Terrible idea. So many families fall apart over fish tanks. Everyone loves to stare at fishes but nobody wants to clean the tank. Fast and violent deaths to all fishes reared on impulse. When the novelty ends, there will be an empty tank in room: too expensive to throw, too ugly and bulky to repurpose. I object.

“Let’s get a chihuahua!” 

"Are you way too bored?

We actually do own a house pet already : Max, Maxim and Maximus. They live under our sofa and nobody is certain how many of them we have. Introducing Maxim, our friendly family lizard.  Megan is convinced we have three, I have only seen Maxim.

I feel a connection with Maxim. He is really handsome. Loves to come out and watch TV beside Morgi’s feet, after which we will hear a scream and both of them will run in opposite directions. How do I describe the camera shy Maxim? Ah he looks something like this:

(disclaimer, I don't know who he is but these eyes, they are my Maxim's earnest eyes when he watches TV with us)

Entertainment

Mr Morg pester me every single day to buy him the Wheel of Fortune. So I make him a big one. How to make it spin? Luckily, nothing a glue gun and LEGO wheels cannot solve. I am a genius.

SPIN!!! (Clap Clap Clap)….. Morgan wins 2 pages of homework!!! Yeah!!!! We all celebrate in unison.

But that is not the REAL wheel! He complains. He loves to complain. Ok fine, make one yourself! And so he did. It can spin too! 

Apparently, still not satisfied! Until he finds an online Powerpoint template by Timothy Hsu (!!), downloads it (!!!) and spends everyday modifying and setting new rules on his Powerpoint (!!!!)… plus fight with his sister who wants to “program” the game more and he wants to spin the mystery wheel now…

Kpop

Didi suddenly demands BTS Fire. So many demands, this boy! Holy, this is a Kpop dance song!!! And Morgan dances energetically to it… he knows the moves!!! What have young kids been watching these days? Megan joins him…. I join him…. Ken declares this flash dance as the beginning of our daily morning dance routine.

So here we are, moving to the groove of BTS before 7am every morning. I have to say, it is a real work out moving my arms left and right! Megan says not fair, I want Black Pink Kill This Love! Meaning: we all have to learn a second dance…

“Mummy, you need your own music video dance too”

 I think for 3 seconds. 3. 2. 1. Aaron Kwok. 对你爱爱爱不完.

The look on Megan’s face as she watches this cheesy low resolution 1990 MV. After the first chorus, oh never mind, let’s turn 郭富城 off. You can return your jaw back to position now thank you.

Practicing Kpop Dance Tutorial with the kids is fun. After a while. I feel young, real confident that my moves are sharp and on point. That is until Megi decides to face the wall mirror instead of the TV.

Mirror mirror on the wall. Feel good self-illusion no more.

Hey mimi, don’t try too hard, this can get very demoralizing.

Death.

Mimi explodes exciting news to me. Hey, the new Yio Chu Kang Garden of Peace now allows for family to scatter the ashes of the deceased in the garden! Apply for me!!! This is the way I want to go!!! I give her the bored look. I thought you and your crazy sisters and brothers have all gone shopping for your columbarium spaces and preferably all ten of you (or all 12 to 14 of you including the grandparents) can be together in your afterlife?

But ok. Noted. This plan sounds way better. Will get you a shady spot.

Over the dining table one day, my MIL also agrees that this is a good idea but she prefers having her chatty sisters as ghostly neighbors. Apparently columbarium niches are like real estate condominiums. If there are no available slots left, one can buy them from others at a higher price. There are people who will let go of a slot. Hmmm. Very interesting. Megan chuckles.

In other news, so so bored. Something interesting, please happen soon.

Sigh... The June Holiday Heighten Alert

A friend posts on group chat that Pri 1-3 will start off school reopening with HBL. 

YESYESYES!!! I jump in joy that Megan is not in this category. And the decision to defer Mr Morg’s Primary One? Best decision ever. These 2 years of covid disruptions are just killing all the Pri 1 and 2 kids…. Ok I see a couple of my friends pre-moan their miserable destiny, need to keep my selfish gleefulness in check.

So, here we are : school holidays + heightened alert + stuck at home with the worst ever hot weather in my memory + LTA road works!

Walk around the house for secret stash stock check. Arsenal low... Shopee to the rescue.

Bought Mastermind! Why is it called code breaker now? Such logical games are so Megan. I am happy to say we are evenly matched.

I dig out “Where Are You? Find the Family Game”… Someone must have gifted this to didi ages ago. A game based on asking questions to find where out all the family member’s location. The importance of good questions!

We follow trends too. And the hottest fashion accessory trend in 2020/2021 is …. Mask Chains. If you ever wonder where your mask is and have nowhere to hang your mask while eating, this is for you. Megi initially is super concern that this will make her look like Ah Ma. But the variety of beads we have is enough to make her change her mind and now she wears it as a necklace around the house.

Teach didi something, Megan. The lollipop origami activity happens. So cute, I join in to make the best looking ones. Thank you.

Morgi joins the league of cup makers in the family. Oh, is that a tea spoon too? Hey Megi, we need to up our game soon. 

Weekend art lessons for Mr Morg is now online. Seriously? This is so not going to work. I am literally to his left, out of the camera angle for the whole 90mins. Not entirely correct since he runs away everytime he is done and I have to call him back when the next demonstration starts. This is so damn tiring.

Girl is spending excessive time online too. Designing and constructing her 3 story villa  in virtual space. Layout is not bad, facade a tad too common. 

She constructs a university which looks so much better. Then a Japanese house with nice platformed interior floor space. I ask for its purpose because one step difference can easily break one’s ankle. She says this is to ensure the entire stretch of dark timber floor along the exterior veranda looks better in proportion to the whole house… ok… this is another level altogether. Time to get a life daughter. 

My best friend of 32 years recently go cray cray over mini bonsai and I start obsessing over microgreens. Is the soil too dry? Are they having enough sun? What is the optimum taste/ height to harvest? Hurray, I see something poking out from the soil! 

Ken says I just want microgreens to make my food photos look better. Oh come on! Am I so shallow? Microgreens are rich in potassium, iron, zinc, magnesium…. They are super food ok, not decorative garnishes.

Ok they look good as essential additions too. Looking cute is not their fault.

In other boring news, we are finally old enough to get vaccinated. Kenneth does another staycation in hospital for bee sting for the nth time. Fridge died, we happily order new fridge, new fridge fails to arrive after 3 days so old fridge comes back alive again! DUH!

Mr Morg is micromanaging my tying. Your font is too normal. I don’t like normal. Change to this, press here...… Wah you know fonts meh? Go away, I like my normal fonts. 

Apparently Mr Morg is somewhat familiar with the idea of typefaces. Open his worksheets and I find “robot”, “mirror image” and “weak and shivering” styles (his own description), something he insists is not bad handwriting at all when I nag him to write properly. 

Time to investigate typology and calligraphy folks! Shopee brings Megan a brand new set of calligraphy pens and books, which she enthusiastically practice for days.

We have fun with chinese calligraphy too. Master Morg and his illegible writing, here signing his big name away. Grandmaster Megi showing off the most difficult Chinese character in history – BIANG. Literally wah biang…

We cannot miss works of my fav calligrapher/ artist – Xu Bing. A perfect integration of English alphabets into Chinese characters called Square Word Calligraphy. Great for this generation of Singlish speaking people.

Above is my favorite poetry writing of his – Jack and Jill went up the Hill.

Let me break this down for you just in case you are not woke enough to read this masterpiece. (Found this decoder in MET website)

This is for you Kenneth. Happy Birthday. (Yeah my handwriting still can make it...)