Giving Birth (the second time)

Zero Notice

Out with Ken the day before our scheduled Cesarean. I sighed, happy that my days of being a watermelon smuggler were finally coming to an end.

One karate kick on my left felt very pronounced and I reminded Ken to drive slowly. Suddenly I felt a rupture and a deluge of water appeared. Damn I thought! My bladder’s getting out of control. Panty liner is not going to be enough to contain this spill. But no! Oh no! The leaky tap or rather gush was not stopping!  I was flooding the car seat! A road bump sent a puddle of water overflowing onto the car carpet!

“Kenneth, Kenneth, water bag burst. Water bag burst”

“Shit, now what? Go hospital or home?”

Let’s go home to fetch my bag, I thought. Was totally not prepared for this and I could only think of Whyee whose water bag burst in her office last week. What did she do? She went home to bath and packed her bag. Yup she did that! So I told Ken to do that too – Go home.

Yes, the waterbag burst! 

The water was not stopping so what was previously known as a car seat was now a pond. I did the typical CHIJ thing and dumped all the fabric of my dress between my open thighs to soak up the fluid. Surprise! It’s viscous! Not soaking up well! Once we reached our car park, I headed straight for the lift, leaving Ken to marvel at the reservoir above his leather.

A Pinoy maid joined me at the basement lift lobby while we waited for that wretched lift. We exchanged smiles. She pretended not to stare at my lower region and I pretended nothing is happening. I mean, I was still pouring buckets of water onto the floor, my goodness! Family of four joined us and we all exchanged warm smiles again. Finally we all squeezed into the lift and OMG was I imagining or was there a particular smell?

First Sign of Pain

Fast forward to KK where I felt my very first labor pain upon reaching the hospital. It was a pain I have never felt before. Acute and intense. It is… OH MY GOD!!!! Is this…. Contraction?!!! Dammmn…

Nurses immediately pronounced me 5cm dilated and asked if I wanted to go for natural birth when I reached 8cm. NO. NO. NO. Stick to the plan! Call Prof Tee, C-sec quick! Seriously, not that I have a choice, because within minutes, I was at the 8cm mark and struggling. GPS shows “Ah Tee reaching soon” but it was too late for Cesarean anyway. And I can also wave epidural goodbye.

What? Repeat please! What does that mean?

It means, my dear… Do it the low tech way, baby!

Labor

Labor pain was certainly a different animal compared to choking on a fish bone. Fish bone was a sharp pain and I was panicking for my life. Labor pain has no panic but is a paralyzing, all-consuming kind of pain with contractions coming in fierce waves, logging my body in seizures. My spine and lower back felt like breaking. Every position was agonizing with “something” heavy pressing against my lower back while screwing around and twisting my internal organs. URGH!! I could not even find words to describe this…

The nurse kind of described it perfectly. I felt the immense need to pass motion and this “constipated shit” has been months in the making so is the size and hardness of a watermelon. It wants to get out but could not, I want to hold it in but could not either! It was a terrible situation to be in.

quick! I wanna come out alreadi

you know you need strength to push but you are breaking out 

in cold sweat coz the shit is just too hard!

“Relax” was my instructions but how could that be possible? Ken told me to think of other things to distract myself… Err… ok, furniture for 418 is missing a urghhh!!! It suddenly occurred to me that I had yet to grab Ken’s hair, bite his hand, curse, swear and scream. Ok, I obviously watched too much TV. Those actions required too much effort and some burst of strength whereas I was limp with cold sweat! Urban myth debunked!

My “Ah Tee” suddenly arrived and commanded “ok come, legs up, your hands hold here”.

Brain Freeze. NOW? I could not quite register the moment. It did not actually occur to me that the solution to my relief was simply – to give birth! And this ‘Ah Tee’ was to deliver me? OMG of course, that is why he is my gyne! Oh Man!!! This is so weird.

I was given instructions to breath and push. But dude, shouldn’t you teach me this earlier? My feet were firmly placed against the nurse and Prof Tee’s rib cages and I was supposed to give them the cue when my next contractions come. For now we wait. A strange sight and I suddenly hallucinate my elephant legs kicking Ah Tee’s skinny body, sending him flying to the wall. Opps… effect of too much laughing gas…

NOW! I pushed with all my life! “No. No. Your technique is wrong, don’t let the air out, use your abdominal muscle, and try again. PUSH!”

PUSH for Life

Pushing was a relief. Far easier than relaxing while cramping to death. Right or wrong, I pushed with all my might since that was the only way out. Forgive the pun. Ken said I pushed so hard, my face turned purple. Wow, I would like to see that!

For every set of contraction, I managed to do around three pushes. After less than 5 sets, I could feel Morgan’s head against my perineal. This is it! The impossible… “Push and hold, push PUSH!”

Then a strange sensation of an object suddenly unplugged and drained away from me.

I wished I could post with more drama on this climatic moment but the finale was more of a Blah than a highlight. I was not overwhelmed with emotion. No teardrops. No “I did it”. It just happened and now its over. I just did what every women in the world went through during childbirth…

The Aftermath

That’s it guys, I am now officially a VBAC. I am not going to talk about the wonders and fulfillment of virginal birth. It was definitely a great experience (but C sec was a great experience too!). As far as experience goes, there is no need to repeat the same thing twice so I am extremely glad Morgan was impatient enough to choose natural birth for me. Plus kind enough to give me such a short labor lasting only a few minutes.

My good friends visited the next day and all were asking if it was painful. Same level of pain as you guys when you gave birth I guess… No No No… They all had epidural and they all felt nothing… WHAT!? I feel cheated already.

Choking on a Fish Bone

Discharged from hospital and now resting at home.

No guys, I know I am 38 weeks into my pregnancy but this blog is not about the happy news of baby popping. It is about - I choked on a fish bone yesterday during dinner.

I am a fish bone. Swallow me.

“I know so and so also choked on fish bone before, its ok one”… maybe comments like these are trying to be reassuring… even good for a laugh when its over. But I assure you this is not an emergency to be made light of.

Immediately post the horrible ordeal which for a moment I thought might cost my life, I also hear 

helpful been-there-done-that advises like “…you can point your finger to the sky and write some 

chinese words then swallow some rice”…… “ Fish bones very fine what, swallow some banana or 

rice and push it down then ok liao”…what can I say? Distressing comments to hear but people are 

entitled to their own views on how they prefer to handle situations. 

Back to the beginning… I was eating a big fish and I was picking at the bones when the exact moment happened. The bones I was fishing out were all round 3-4cm long so I knew the one I swallowed may be similar. Sharp bones of this length is not considered small nor fine.

Immediately I started to choke. My airway was blocked and I was unable to breathe. Gasps of air are rare and my mind is racing to think how not to gag and breath while I still can breathe.

Emergency at Mt Alvernia was an ultra bad experience (from an emergency patient’s perspective that is). Not that service is slow. A&E is practically empty when I arrived (First sign that all is not well… You mean not a single emergency case on a Sunday evening?) And I was pushed into an observation room immediately with 2-3 nurses attending to me. But none knew what to do. (Bad sign number 2… I have been to TTSH A&E several times and despite being severely short of staff, every medical officer there know what to do! Someone wheel me out again to check the signboard… maybe this is just a 24 hr. clinic I have entered)

Universal sign language for " I am choking but just ignore me"

Obvious to all that I am bending forward drooling huge amount of salvia and mucus, gasping for air, holding onto my neck and signaling with my hand that I am choking. Ok maybe it is not obvious but the nurses asked me to lie in bed, rest my head on the pillow while waiting for the doctor. Stupidest advice coming from a medically trained personnel because the back flow of mucus and salvia will certainly block my airway, cutting off my oxygen supply.

One nurse asked me what happened and I tried my best to croak that I swallowed a fish bone. She got it, then persistently asked big or small fish, what type of fish… My love, I wish I can patiently explain to you that “in my opinion it is quite large and I regret I was not diligent enough in my diving days to identify fishes but the skin is a mix of red and grey and my helper cooked it in the oven with soy sauce and garlic. Any idea the species yet?” vomiting and choking to resume after explanation.

The other nurses stood behind, openly ask one another “how ah? What to do? Call which doctor huh”…

A doctor who did not inspire much confidence came and wanted me to open my mouth to look into my throat. But first thing first… where the hell did they keep those expensive latex gloves for emergency doctors? Where oh where?

Legal needle torture

I vomited onto myself when the doctor tried to peep into my throat. Very natural response called gag reflexes but for the nurses in A&E, this must be the first time they witness vomit because they were helplessly lost. Ken was scrambling my bag for the small pack of tissue paper he knew I had. “Tissue, tissue” I heard the nurses behind him suddenly murmur in a scramble to find a tissue box. 

Now which cabinet did they lock those expensive tissue paper? Found it! YEAH!!!! And they found a plastic bag too!!! Way to go, forward thinking nurse! This must be the most efficient day in your life in A&E!!!

The forward thinking nurse detached herself from the wall and came forward to help me with the newly acquired product. But as I continued to throw up and the vomit soaked my whole hand and Ken’s, she immediately withdrew and left Ken to assist me, leaving the tissue box on my lap. It is to note that from my angle, I can see and hear 2 nurses trying to merge into the wall. All these while, non was assisting the doctor or even trying to help Ken who is obviously overwhelmed.

Run for your life! It's vomit!!!!

Visual inspection gained nothing so the next stage is X-ray. “You are not pregnant right?”, doctor asked… URGH!!!! Have I heard Ken told you twice I am due in 2 weeks!!!? Is that considered pregnant?! “Must be uncomfortable, ate the fish this afternoon during lunch?” Yes doctor, ate the fish at twelve noon then decided to regurgitate a bone to choke myself at 8pm!!! WTF.

X-ray showed nothing other than a suspicious white dot… Was recommended we wait for the ENT specialist to arrive. With all the throwing up, I guess my airway is all clear and I can breathe slowly with both my mouth and nose. Away from incompetent medical staff, I contemplated my option to leave Mt A and head for TTSH. But Ken told me all has been paid for, even the ward which I would stay for the night… Yup yup.. like I say, efficiency is not the problem here, medical competence is.

A few floors up, the ENT specialist arrived at my ward. He was very assuring and very professional. A huge change from downstairs. When another visual inspection revealed nothing, he did a scope by inserting a long tube through my nose into my throat. Still nothing. We are now left with no other choice but a general anesthesia operation to retrieve the bone. It will be done around midnight to avoid the risk of reflux since it is not long after my last meal.

A general anesthetist came and briefed me on the procedure. Again, very professional. One marked difference I realized, between the medical staff downstairs and upstairs is that the latter are committed to listening. 

When I could not speak, the GA asked me to give hand signals. When hand signals cannot be comprehended, I was given pen and paper. I have seen this simple pen and paper communication done at the very chaotic TTSH emergency before. It suddenly dawn on me that Mt A emergency never tried to communicate with me other than pressing me to answer the ever important “what type of fish”. My hand signals indicating to them the size of the fish and the size of the bone was also actively ignored.

 I am just an emergency professional, you don't expect me to understand sign language right?

Anyway, to finish up the hospital story, the operation was successful with the ENT surgeon basically telling Ken and me that I was damn suay. It was a big bone and it was stuck pretty deep right across my throat with both ends firmly wedged on both sides of the throat, no way its coming out and everything I swallow after the bone will just sit right on top of it. Hence explain the pain and the difficulty to breathe. It also explains why X-ray reveals nothing but a white dot. 

He admitted it was one of his more challenging operation due to the way the bone decided to secure itself. But all is well. I am to stick to a liquid diet since the walls are a bit torn and swollen plus to monitor for fever. 10days MC and no talking.

The fish bone IS OUT!!!

A few lessons I learned from this unfortunate episode:

•         Be careful of fishbones! Well, if me being so blind as to swallow something so big and the result is death due to choking. Then I seriously deserve it. Can't blame anyone for an accident I caused myself right?

•         The nearest A&E may not be the best A&E. No wonder Mt A emergency is not doing a brisk business, dying patients are willing to travel further!

•         One’s experience in something does not equal to good advise for another. If I were to heel words of wisdom to swallow rice and bananas, I have no doubt me and my unborn child would be dead by now.

•     Be patient and listen to the needs of others. The emotional distress of me trying to communicate but no one willing to take me seriously is certainly my biggest take away from this fish bone incident. I admit I have been one of those assholes many times before. The excuse I gave myself is that I am too busy to listen so hurry up, be efficient then leave… The helplessness and distress I have inflicted on others unable to defend their positions must have been hmm. I really must be more mindful in future.

 Sigh... home sweet home.... must recover because I need to go give birth soon!

cheers

7 things I learned in my last trimester

mummy, your tummy is getting bigger and bigger, like a cow!

 

As the image of me and Obelix begins to merge, I know the end is not far. Standing, walking, sitting, lying became all uncomfortable. Nose is stuck, breathing is labored, urine hard to control, pelvic strained to breaking point. Yes, the cannot-wait-to-get-baby-out sensation is all coming back to me.

#1 - Daddy is the best

Men being visual animals will start to react when the expanding tummy invades into their vision at every turn. Ken took on a larger role in the household, witnessed his space on the sofa and bed diminished and eventually rolled himself into the guest room bed when my pillows claimed total victory. 

More importantly, he became the main IC for Megan. From "mummy, mummy" a hundred times a day to "where's daddy, we are a team" - Ken successfully became the anchor for Megan and seeing them together melts my heart big time…

#2 – Online shopping is amazingly addictive

Spending a lot more time lying down = gobbling up data on my Samsung. Blame it on Jasmine and Xianger for introducing qoo10 to me when I am at my most physically and mentally fragile state. OMG am I a late comer to online shopping… 

#3 – Commit to the plan

Megan too has also been infected with the consumerism bug. And that spells trouble because her mom is one of those misers whose entire wardrobe can fit into a suitcase with room to spare so what can she be wanting to buy?

To be fair, she just wanted a rainbow umbrella. Which is well ok... But just in case she decided to make it a habit of asking for more, I immediately introduced THE SCORE CHART. You have to earn 10 stars before I will buy you that umbrella. Nothing is free in this world my gal and no, that innocent plea in your sweet 3 year old voice is not getting you anywhere! Boo Boo.

Also seriously, where the heck can I find a rainbow umbrella? I know I had to drag this out. Luckily, acquiring #2 online shopping skills proved extremely useful. Her stars did not come easy (coz I ran out of ideas what she needed to achieve after a while). It took her a month before I presented to her hard earned umbrella (as well as my first ever online purchase – of questionable quality) She loved the crappy thing with all her heart. She earned it, she told everyone she met. 

 

Fret not my sweetie pie! Whatever you want, daddy will get it for you!!

 

As predicted, her second demand came – pink goggles so she can swim underwater with eyes open. Super hero Ken flew to grab the goggles immediately! Makes sense since he is the one swimming with her every week so I can't say the goggles is not an essential item. BUT there are only 2 stars in the goggles section!!! So undignified and angry recieving this undeserved goggles that Megan cried and demanded daddy to keep the goggles until she earned all 10 stars! Pat on my back and hers, I trained her well… Daddy, commit to the plan!

Or else Megan will "headache again"

#4 – Primary One Chinese

I love listening to mums (sometimes dads) with older kids talk about their experience, especially now that number 2 is coming soon. Natalie advised to put Megan in drama classes before the 2^nd one pop to avoid Megan thinking that I dumped her there because I wanted her out of the way. Ming taught me how to teach kids to express emotions in logical sentences. Jeff repeated non stop on how You-tube has influenced the young and why they will not listen to us. Melissa is more direct, showed me Cameron’s primary 1 Chinese spelling and assessment books.

Lump in my throat for the last one… Though Megan is not even 4 so primary one is far far away, but you know how type A personality tend to over-react. 

And while I am sticking Chinese words around the house, I also gave my old name cards a new lease of life.

#5 – F1

F1 is cool but I know nothing about cars and nay, not interested. 

Twist of fate, I became involved in this year’s Paddock suite. The whole event and logistics has been an eye opener and I wished I can be more invested because even with buggies and cars driving me around to lessen the gravity drag on my tummy, I cannot contribute much. If I have the chance, I will do more next time. 

#6 – You cannot use old stamps to mail new letters

Megan suddenly decided to write letters to her favorite people. Except the names of “Po Po, Ah Gong, Ah Ma” and her own name, generally her letters are illegible, packed with hearts and abstract art.

second batch all use 65cents stamp. enough? 

Strangely no one gets her letters. My mum asked me what stamps she used; I said, “Those left over from my wedding invites 5+ years ago”…

“Did you know that the value of the stamp then and now are different?” roll eye ball…. That was a revolutionary thought that never crossed my mind!

#7 – This is the best time of my life

Let’s be frank and admit that both spouses flying constantly is not going to work regardless of how romantic or successful the story may sound. I loved my job, travels, hotels, lifestyle, money.

What the heck, now cut everything by half and I am even happier where I am now.

I want a cherry tree on top of my house so I can eat cherries everyday.

I can only stand in the middle of the rainbow because there is no space anymore.

Mid Autumn Festival

This year’s mid autumn came so fast. By the time I returned to office from my long medical leave and saw a box of mooncakes on my desk from David, it was only a week’s away!!

As usual, ideas started forming while I carried the mooncakes home. Flashback memories of brain numbing karaoke music, psychedelic spinning lights from battery operated lanterns last year, I knew I have to right the wrong this time round.

My childhood memories of mid autumn were awesome. Mid autumn means plenty of cousins, even more food, countless lanterns hanging off trees, burning candles and proud display of melted wax on playground benches.

Whatever I need to do this year, I have to do fast:

1. Call Andrea to book her kids (Megan missed Kaiqi so much)
2. Make lanterns! (I cannot bear buy things I can make easily)
3. Properly introduce the festival to Megan

One week to the lantern gathering:

Start of paper lantern making activities

Megan is getting real steady with scissors. Very proud so will leave the entire cutting to her. She is pretty obsessing with her glue bottles so will leave that for her too. I am reduced to helper status and it’s kinda boring.

Granted that the end product is not very pretty but it’s her craft anyway. Wish I bought better paper for this but will have to make do with whatever paper I can find in the house!

The Mid autumn legend

Conveying the story of Chang Er is quite tough. I cannot quite get the story right either. Intended to head to the library to borrow a storybook on Chang Er but no time and there is nothing to download that narrates the story.  I usually need a visual to tell a story so fortunately I saw a picture online, which I can lean on. Immediately copied the picture on A4 and it evolved into a coloring activity.

As I explained the story to her pointing to the picture while she colors, I realized - WHERE IS CHANG ER? The more questions she asked about the moon and Chang Er, the more deviations from the original I fed her. I started to wonder if this is the best way to tell a kid anything…

The Event: 

A good simple dinner before we gather the kids downstairs for the lantern walk around. 

Lanterns from NTUC

glow in the dark light strips is a brillant idea 

Ethan the gentleman making flower shaped lights for the 2 gals

I have to say that we adults are not as great as our parents with our hands. Hanging lanterns from trees is not easy at all! How did the older folks manage to fill the whole tree with lights 30 years ago?