2022 New Year Post

Editing this blog to arm-twist my Ah-So-Reflective-Year-End-Recap into a perky 2022 post bursting with positivity. This is why I cannot have a job in editorial, will miss all the deadlines. Blame it on rainy days, I get all stoned out.

Avici Hell : Continuous Hell. Time with no interruption. Hell of incessant suffering.  Happy New Year Everyone!!!! Happy 2^nd Covid Anniversary Everyone!

I know the drill. Long nights with chills, fever, aches and labored breathing. If this is a chronic pain, one can totally understand why euthanasia should be legalized. Thank you for comforting me that MOE is pushing you teachers for the 4^th jab while I am trying to survive this booster… Urghhh… Is there no end in sight?

Last post of 2021. Nothing new to talk about since most events are recycled. Stale news that leave a bad taste in your mouth. Ok, better than no taste at all. Brand New Year brings renewed hopes and wishes!!!! Stop laughing, can’t you see I am trying down here…

FIL is unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer in 2021. He has always been healthy so this comes as a shock. Good news that he is responding extremely well to treatment. My heart goes out to Kenneth, who takes up all the extra things life throws at him…. I want to say all the burdens aged him but this man comes out looking ridiculously younger and younger!!! (Darling, that is no mask acne. That is puberty induced pimples ready to burst but your pores are too fine, they are simply trapped.) Sigh…I always know I married a younger man. I just never know how young…

Health has never feature so prominently in our lives but after the scare, heath screenings and exercise become our highlight for Q4. Kenneth literally rejuvenates himself back into his early 30s - tip top condition with a butt like granite. Cover the head and you have fashion model material no doubt.

Hi Chloe Ting. Love you. 

I try to play catch up. As always. Hence my best investment ever - Apple watch. Unlike some 自我感觉良好 dude who laughs at my NO GAPS, my Apple watch is endearing and ever so encouraging – “it’s ok, today is a fresh start”, “you can still do it”….

Praises and encouragements always work. I witness myself bounce bounce bounce after the $10 carrot that AIA and Lumi Health dangles in front of me weekly. Amazing how a little cash can incentivize clogged fats to HEY MOVE IT, DON’T BLOCK THE ARTERY TO PROSPERITY.  

Learned that humans, at age 40+, that is us, are at the rock bottom of our happiness index curve. I give this statistic a very serious thought since Ken escapes the curse by growing backwards. What can I do? Luckily being Pisces, I live half my life in the clouds so reality is but an alternative to the unlimited possibilities of my fantasyland. Hence I totally fail to grasp the shit I am suppose to be in. What is there to worry at my age?

Until…

Megan’s Chinese teacher calls me on her poor Chinese and HCL results…

Conclusion.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil. Dunno No Evil. Chilled parenting is clearly a result of not knowing anything.

But now the parent knows. **POOF**… Fantasy land gone. Well, we din just land smack right into earth since the gates of Hell has just been flung wide open… WTF DO YOU MEAN YOU DUNNO THIS WORD??!!! Needless to say, I level up into a rage mum real quick. Welcome to this new specimen of an angry Singaporean Chinese mother if you have never seen one.

Not proud of my profane absurdities to the stupidity of THIS SIMPLE SENTENCE ALSO CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT HAVE U BEEN DOOOOINGGGG…. can be heard in one explosive and passionate howl 2 blocks away… Ok I said all these in Mandarin since activation of Project Chinese Improvement Plan aka CIP, I became exclusively Channel 8.

Hey Morgi... Good job on the Chinese Calligraphy, you are not in trouble... YET... Your turn will come... soon...

I am not a mindless screaming machine. I do feel bad. After every screaming session, I say yes to more play dates and book more activities. 21 outings in 31 days of Dec. Mind-blowing feat…

Scold Scold Scold. Play Play Play. The cycle of dichotomy needs to break because we can never outlast a Zoomer. It is not so much that scolding is tiring but CIP generates so much 作文造句 that need marking, explaining, corrections!!! Easy to say go 造句”丰富“, harder to determine if 妈妈煮了丰富的午餐is correct, or is it 丰盛的午餐??? Ah my Chinese isn’t that great either. Damn. I need to think this over.

Grandmas* teaching granddaughters Chinese… how… sweet…

Ok we have our fair share of fun in 2021. We pay for our first mahjong lesson (receive lifetime supply of scoffs and eye rolls from relatives and friends, will never hear the end of it) Yes Yes, unbelievable state of affairs for a Chinese. Yes Yes Yes. But it is so much fun. We need to will buy a set of mahjong tiles soon!

End of 2021 sees bestie and me colliding with an elderly cyclist in the park. Facing the shaken auntie with bleeding lips siting on the ground, we were practically useless. You think you know how to react in a crisis but even a small accident; my best performance is to hold out a tissue and ask, “are you ok” repeatedly. Face Palm.

Even today, I exchange occasional watsapps with her husband, receiving news that auntie is back in hospital again for headaches. Not good. I am concerned about them yet they are concerned about us. Uncle keeps telling me that it is nobody’s fault, rejecting our offer to pay for medical expenses and telling me no need to visit, so mafan. What is an appropriate course of action from me? I am so used to Problem, Action, Case Close… This is uncomfortably different for me.  

And you know what? While revisiting this post, I realize I may not be the stronger one needing to provide help. They are also not frail and weak, helpless without my intervention. I got it all wrong. This is not about me and what I can do for them to selfishly make myself feel better. It is about listening , giving consideration to their need for space and respecting their perspective of the accident. 

No need for excessive action to guilt trip myself  and guilt trip others. Uncle is right. “we can just be friends”. So to my 2 new elderly friends in the South-East, thank you for showing me that naturalness is indeed the most appropriate way to approach life. It has been wonderful to know you both. 

And in the meantime, life with m&m continues. We planted two trees and they are going to grow up strong and healthy alongside with us… Welcome 2022. We are looking forward. 

*Outsourcing enables higher happiness index through lower involvement and lower blood pressure, which benefits both providers and end users, leading to increase employment and diversity in opportunities.