Bye Bye Snake... Hello Horse.

Happy New Year. 

No CNY painting this year… So sad… was too busy (actually horse too hard to draw)… The fire horse was rumoured to be a year of 大大大凶 for dearest me… But we will get to that in the coming days… This is a blog to wrap up the year of the golden snake.

Meggi had the greatest fun participating in the Festival Winds 2025. Her brother was super excited in his “fancy seat” supporting Meggi at the Esplanade, cheering “Jie Jie! You are awesome!!! This is the best performance ever!!!”

Skiing in Shen Zhen was nice. Biggest indoor ski compound in the world and M&M were speeding along like they own the slopes. I was not bad myself, spending most time chasing after the M&M. Could not locate Kenneth in the white landscape – either he had given up somewhere or progressing so badly that coach had to spend more 1-1 time with him at the training slope. 

Singapore Office Party. Galaxy theme was hard!!! But the folks seemed to do well…

Black Hole vs Big Bang!!! Both trying very hard not to win Best Dressed. 

Jellyfish species ??? Alien invasion??? Self Appointed King of the Galaxy? 

Same party location as years ago when two plastic sea brass trophies was shoved to me and Joris for winning the most prestigious  “Worst Project of the Year” or maybe “Most Unhappy Client Award”. Those days were really fun. Suddenly I missed AM. He would make this party much more silly and hilarious. 

Shanghai Office Party. After nagging at them for some time, they finally abandoned round tables and went thematic role play. Dotter encouraged me to go for full ancient costume make up, selected this look for me. If not now, then when - she said... I liked her logic. 

Amy scoffed at the selection“ …this dress is for drinking tea, not wine…. How to play? Skin? Where is the skin? Show more skin….” 

“More slutty?…. Its 2 degrees in Shanghai ok, you want me to freeze to death?”

I did eventually asked Shanghai team to find me something closer to 蜘蛛精, any 妖精 style but they came back saying all the clothes very 淑女.

淑女 I was certainly not because I ended up having a video call with the money people before party. Heated arguments and multiple roll eye balls moments. Charisse could not stop laughing, rolled over and dropped me a side text “NEVER dress like this to discuss serious finance topics ever again”… She could not resist eternalising this moment with a screenshot which became photo of the year. 

Party was well organized. I was determined to get the gals to work the night and create new revenue stream for the business. Though some guys from dunno what era looked at me and say “你战国的？是不是有点老啊？"。。。"只大你千多岁好吗，我穿越不可以吗？" So annoying!!!

Costumers these days are hard to please: 

扑过去。。。“先生，要吗？”

。。。“多少钱？”

“200元。”

。。。“有开发票吗？”

Even Mimi was having fun with my aunties. Another crazy bunch partying elsewhere. 

After multiple unlucky attempts… Ken finally got the good news he wanted while drinking in Amsterdam… Looks like our holiday locations are set for 2026…

Bye Bye Year of the Snake. Am so done with the year. 

How to Die

3.05am. I woke up in the middle of the night to write this. How unprecedented.

How to die. I have been pondering this question a lot lately. Tried to google search about dying and all helplines and hotlines popped up.. Tsk... How unhelpful. Searched the national library for books instead and reserved "When breath becomes air" and "The denial of death"... need some reading materials for my upcoming work trips transiting airports again...

As we grow older, we cannot help but accumulate more experiences of other people dying. And dying is so ... personal. what do I want that I can wake up in the middle of the night to pen this down?

I want dignity on how I want to go - not to be dictated by others who think this or that is good or bad for me. Hence to be lucid and maintain ability of thought and communication is important. When I am dying, I am not an exhibit to visit. I am likely to look terrible so outsider visits will likely be burdensome. If we have not met for the last 6 months, maybe there is little value of you occupying space beside my last months and days. 

Please do not give me words of encouragement like "when you are better, we can travel etc etc”, trying to tug at my heartstrings to maintain strength for your sake when I should be preparing and building courage to leave. You make me feel like I have failed you and it is on me to be brave and stay strong. Just provide comfort and support me going through a difficult process. 

There is a 100% certainty of us dying. Maybe suddenly, maybe a long dragged out illness, maybe peacefully in sleep. Even if I were to die abruptly, I will like to believe people I truly love would have received all of my love while I was alive. I would have shown love enough for you to feel no regrets so even when I die, you would already feel fulfilled and unburdened by my suddenly lack of affection. You are complete when my time runs out. If I have not shown you that, maybe you are not that important to me… let it go after I am gone. 

After I die, now I come to terms that the wake and all that are for the benefit of the living… I am no longer around so I no longer matter… however the living wants to ease their guilt or extend their peace. lily says the soul only leaves the body after 49 days...